Letting go of that perfectionism

How was your weekend? 

The cousins playdate we had over the weekend turned out great. We had 20 plus people to our house for an evening of pizza and lots of toys and playtime for the kids. We also celebrated my husband Steve's and his cousin Teresa's early birthday with a cake. We had a house full of people and it was a lot of fun. 

We set up two card tables with folding chairs in the empty living room to create an extra dining and seating area. We placed a train table set and a little gym for the little ones to play in the same room. The toddlers played there while the parents sat by the table and relaxed with coffee. We even turned our three-season porch into a playroom for the older kids, where they played hockey and basketball. Don't worry, we didn't have any furniture in the porch.

There are two things I learned this weekend that I wanted to share with you: 

1) I enjoy having people over even when our house looks a bit like a contraction zone.  
I'd rather bring people into our unfinished mess than not bringing anyone at all just because we're embarrassed about the mess. This is something new to me. I'm slowly learning to embrace our real life messes, because our house will never be perfect!

Our real life mess: a tower of lego boxes and walls with a torn drywall tape as a backdrop

This also corresponds to the attitude I'm taking with life these days: Embrace my imperfect life as is and roll with it. I have tried way too hard to make things perfect in the past, and it was an exhausting pursuit as you can imagine. I'm finally learning to blossom where I am today instead of pursuing some unrealistic expecataions. I'm learning to dance in the rain, and it is liberating. 

2) Our house is meant to support our dreams and help us live our life to its fullest. Not the other way around.  
We've always wanted to entertain people in our house. However, because of my perfectionism and the life with babies and all, it never happened. This was only the second time we've ever had a gathering at our house in the six years of living here. The first time was when I hosted my sister-in-law's bachelorlette party. Unfortunately, I was too pregnant to remember anything from that event. 

I was often annoyed at our house because it's big and takes a long time to clean up the entire place. Sometimes it felt as if I was the servant to the house, cleaning, maintaining, and fluffing it every day. Our house finally served its purpose this weekend and it feels great. All I had to do is letting go of that perfectionism I had and let the house do its job. The house wasn't keeping me from achieving my dream. I was keeping myself from doing it. 

I don't feel shy about bringing people in our unfinished and imperfect house anymore.

Did you try anything new lately that helps you see things in a different way?

Craig's List Find: Faux Bamboo Tables

Is it Friday already? 

Phew, this week went by so fast!

We are having my husband's cousins and their kids over for a big "playdate" tomorrow. So today, I'm busy trying to put our house together. I have a lot of unfinished projects around the house. Like that drywall in the living room I haven't touched up yet. 

I'm not obviously aiming high here. My goal is to tie up a few loose ends and make our house feel more comfortable and less like a construction site.

The past few years has brought us some important changes in our lives. For one, we have slowly learned to simplify our lives by getting rid of things we don't use or love. This has been an eye opening experience for us; we not only learned to pare down our possessions but also had to rethink our buying habits. We basically don't buy things unless we need them and/or absolutely love them.

After selling many furniture pieces and shifting things around the house, we are now left with an empty living room. My dream is to eventually have a piano and a comfy sofa and chairs in there to turn it into a music room. But for now, I'd rather have it empty than cramming something in it just for the sake of having it filled. I've been using this space to work on my DIY projects, and it's been great. 

Since our seating is limited, I wonder if I should let all the kids sit on the living room floor and have them eat their munchies "picnic style" tomorrow. What do you think?

Before I ran off to do some more fixing up and cleaning, I wanted to share my recent purchase from Craig's List. 

I scored these Thomasville faux bamboo coffee and end tables on Craig's List right before Christmas for $30! I'd been looking for a coffee table in Hollywood Regency style for a long time, so I was thrilled when I found these tables for such a great price. 

I love the Chinese Chippendale details. 

They are in their original creamy yellow finish and can use some TLC. I'm going to refinish them to make them work for our house. 

I'm thinking of panting them with a lacquer finish, but I haven't decided a color yet. The coffee table will eventually go in the living room. I haven't decided if I want to keep the end tables. If I don't find a good place for them, I will be selling them. 

Let's see what color I should paint the tables.
Perhaps I will paint them gold,

image via Recently The Blog

or white, 

image via Circa Who

or a beautiful shade of peacock blue like this?

image via I'm Busy Procrastinating

Pastels are pretty too, like the color on this painted buffet, 

Interior by Cute & Co, Photo by Vitalic Photo

or the pale turquoise on these faux bamboo chairs.

image via Atlanta Homes & Lifestyles

A more organic and natural color palette would be nice too, like this muted sage green on these dining chairs, paired with a primitive wooden piece. I really like the mood of this space.

Image via Pinterest. Source unknown.

I'm just finishing up painting the living room walls in Benjamin Moore Seashell.

BM Seashell on the walls. Interior by Lauren Liess

This is a creamy white with a hint of yellow. It's this subtle color that makes a room inviting, which I think is hard to accomplish with a stark white. I love this living room designed by the talented interior designer Lauren Liess. It is so warm and inviting, yet modern and fresh at the same time. 

So I got the wall paint color and the coffee table set for the living room.
What color would you choose to paint those tables?

 

Becoming: A Letter to Myself

Dear Yuko,

I just realized I've never really written you a letter before. I feel like a dork writing this to myself, but I thought this might help you see things in a different light. I know you need that. 

First of all, I wanted to thank you for all the hard work you do as a mom every day. Raising a family is not an easy task. I see you get frustrated when the boys get fussy and the house gets messy. Finding calm in the chaos is not your strength. You raise your voice to the boys and that makes you feel like a failure. Take a deep breath and slow down.

No one is expecting you to be a perfect mom. Some days, the best you can do is to just show up and be there for the kids. And you know what? I think the boys like that. They just love being around you. That's a beautiful thing you got going there, even though it's hard to see it that way when you are in the middle of the day to day chaos. 

You cook dinner for your family every night and that really counts. The boys see you working in the kitchen and I think that comforts them. Just like you felt as a little girl when you saw your grandmother cooking in the kitchen. 

She walked in the kitchen at 4 o'clock on the dot every day, remember? Every, single, day. She would stare outside of the window for a moment as if trying to figuring out what to cook for dinner, while rubbing her lower back to relieve the pain from standing. 

She always prepared meals in silence. So, you stood beside her and just watched. Neither of you really spoke in that kitchen, but the air of comfort took place in there. The kitchen was actually never quiet. The sound of your grandma's chef's knife on her old butcher's block, the gentle sizzling of onions in hot oil, and the bubbling of hot water filled the kitchen. You felt safe there.

You know that was the gift your grandmother gave you. Now you are trying to give your boys the same gift, just because you know that matters. Call your grandmother and tell her how much you love her. Tell her you appreciate everything she's done for you. She taught you the ordinary things you do every day makes who we are. She taught you what it means to be brave by showing up every day without a complaint. She is your hero and role model. Tell her all about that.

And that blog thing you started last month? You are doing a pretty good job so far. I'm not saying you've written something mind-blowing, but you have learned to be accountable. Putting a decent post together takes a lot more time and effort than you thought it would be. It's a good practice for you. 

I know you are torn sometimes between spending time with your family and writing a blog post. You also get frustrated not spending enough time on writing stories for children. Don't worry. You'll soon learn to put your priorities straight. Hopefully. You know your family comes first and always stick to that.

The one word inspiration you came up for the new year, "create?" I love it. It's a perfect fit for you. But I also know something unexpected happened that stirred up your soul a great deal. The word "write" came to your mind out of nowhere (well, actually came from within).

When you heard the voice in your head, your first instinct was to run from it, as far and fast as possible. Well, this is not the first time you tried to run from what you were called to do. 

When a father of this famous pianist told you that you've got a gift for playing the piano, what did you do? You just shrugged your shoulders and walked away. When you took an drawing class in college, Ms. Barry, the art professor encouraged you to pursue art, what did you do then? After much thinking (over a glass of wine), you decided to pursue your Master's in Human Development. Brilliant.

Looking back, every time you saw a glimpse of your true design, you ran away from it and didn't even know it. This time you are not running from it. You are pursuing it and this is scary. 

You struggle to write. Trying to string words together often feels like a chore than a joy. Even having a thought of wanting to be a writer feels like a sin. You have avoided writing in the past twelve years, after all. You cried and complained it wasn't fair, because it rather felt like a curse than a blessing.

You have something simmering inside of you, wanting to come out. Just like a mother bearing her child inside, you have no idea what will come out of you. But you know you need to be a better writer so that you can bring forth what's growing inside. Keep on writing and don't be discouraged. That's the only way to get better at it.

Your urge to write doesn't have to conflict with your passion to create. Perhaps, the one word you really needed for this new year was "becoming." Perhaps you can only become who you are through writing and creating things. We'll figure that out as it goes. 

Write for the sake of writing. Create for the sake of creating. Don't craft things so that you can please other people, get attention, or be successful. I hope you find yourself, your unique design, unfolding in the middle of that process.   

 

This year, you are slowly becoming who you truly are. I'm excited you are going through this. Let's stop trying to figure out which way to go. Instead, start letting things unfold on its own. I know you have no patience and want hold that "baby" in your arms already. Be patient. You'll get there. 

Much Love,
Your better half. 

Decluttering and Corn-Husk Wreath

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday.

We had my husband's sister, brother-in-law, and our 18-month-old niece over for New Year's Eve, and we really enjoyed their company.  

My brother-in-law made an amazing seafood paella for dinner. After our little ones went to sleep for the night, we savored some finger lakes wines while relishing over local cheeses and pickled olives. We finished the paella and our last sips of the wine right before we rang in the new year.   

After all the fun we had in the past few days, I was ready to slow down. It's been also very cold here in upstate NY, and I've been enjoying my wool blanket and cups of hot lemon and maple syrup.  

What would be the best way to start the new year?

Inspired by Janet at The Gardener's Cottage, I decided to declutter my kitchen drawer after the boys went to sleep last night. Letting go of excess and clutter helps me feel more centered.  

Before: 
It looks like I haven't touched the inside of the drawer since Halloween. I spy my son's belt and "birthday rock star" necklace from Chuck-E-Cheese. How did they get in there? 

After:

   

Much better...
I thought I might be able to find 100 things to get rid of just from this drawer, but I ended up with only 56 items to discard and recycle. So I went ahead to clean out our pantry and refrigerator as well. 

After all the decluttering, I was in the mood for something creative. I found two packages of corn husks in the pantry that I was saving for this project: 

DIY Corn-Husk Wreath

Photo by Ryan Liebe Photography for Martha Stewart Living

I gathered up all the supplies from around the house in the excitement that I could finally make this wreath. Things finally started to slow down around here, and I'm savoring these slow and quiet moments.  

All you need are a straw wreath, corn husks, T pins, a glue gun, a large bowl, paper towel and a pair of scissors. You basically dunk the corn husks in the large bowl of water to make them soft, then arrange them on the straw wreath using the T pins and hot glue gun. Visit Martha Stewart Living for the complete tutorial.  

I used two #6 x 1 - 1/4" screws and some wire to create a hanger.  
 

 

  

I pushed the screws in the back of the straw wreath, secured them using the glue gun, then wrapped and twisted the wire around the screws.  

I used this picture hanging hook to hang the wreath on the wall. 

And this is how the wreath looked like in the foyer this morning, after drying overnight.

 

I enjoy bringing natural elements in the house. They make a space feel more relaxed. The creamy color of the corn husks also adds just the right amount of warmth to the foyer. 
 

It was so easy to make.  

Have a beautiful weekend.  

DWR Champagne Chair Contest is ON!

Are you celebrating New Year's Eve with some champagne tonight? Well, then I have a great news for you. This year's Design Within Reach Champagne Chair Contest is on, and I am thrilled!

What's the DWR Champagne Chair Contest, you might ask? It's simple. You use the foil, label, cage and cork from no more than two champagne bottles and turn them into a miniature chair.  The winner of the contest will receive a $1,000 DWR gift card. I really like the idea of crafting a chair using just a few simple materials.  

image via dwr.com

Here is my entry from last year. 

Well, I know. My chair was cute but not so original. It's like an Eames' molded plastic chair and the lounge chair got married and had a futuristic baby (the base). I remember I decided to enter the contest in the last minute, and this was the best I could come up with after two bottles of champagne (drinking involved) and a sleepless night.  

I know I need to be more innovative this year and invest more time and champagne into it in order to create a one of a kind chair that appeals to the judges. I want to win the $1,000 DWR gift card, people!

Here are some of the delicious chairs DWR offers.... 

Easy Chair.  Love this, but this is out of my price range even with the Gift Card.  image via dwr.com

Tolix Chair.   image via dwr.com

Classic, Wishbone Chair in Oak.  image via dwr.com

The last day of entry is January 14th, so we still got some time.  

I'll be sharing my champagne chair here on the blog when I'm ready. If you are entering the contest, wishing you the best of luck!  

Cheers and Happy New Year!

5 Things I Learned in December

Today I'm linking up with Emily at chatting at the sky to share what I learned in the month of December. I thought it would be a fun short post that might help you get to know me better. 

1. Our house gets the messiest in December. With all the holiday preparation and many other things happened this month, our house had reached the messiest it's been in a long time. If you know me in person, you know how much this bothers me. It's a good thing we don't host any holiday parties at our house. Despite the cleaning effort on Saturday, it's still far from being in a good shape. Now you know what I'm doing for rest of the day. 

2. My son goes to a local Catholic school, and they go crazy with school events and charities in the month of December. When I say crazy, I mean crazy! From stuffing Christmas stockings for a local charity to the Christmas pageant and everything else in between, the school sure kept the parents busy. It was great for the kids. I was worn out by the end of the month. 

3. Taking actions instead of sitting, thinking, and planning what I want to do takes my happiness to a new level. It's not that I have produced anything meaningful or income-worthy, but doing something I truly enjoy gives me hopes and visions I need. It puts the wheel in motion and if I keep going, you never know, I might eventually create something meaningful. Now I believe in art of doing things, but not in planning things. 

4. I'm not a big fan of red meat, but I actually enjoy some lamb. It came as a surprise because I'm a veggie and grain kind of girl. Lamb was never my choice of meat especially with its distinct flavor. But I have to admit, I really enjoyed the lamp we had for Christmas dinner. I am going to get the recipe from my brother-in-law so that I can share that with you. It was that good.  

5. Little kids grow fast. Much faster than I thought they would. Last night, I was going through some picture from this year's Easter egg hunt, and I realized how much my younger son has grown in the past nine months. Now his cheeks are less plump and his eyes portrait his intentions. I need to cuddle and squeeze my boys more often to remember their childhood.   

I think that's about it.  

Now it's your turn. What did you learn in December?  

2014 - CREATE

We spent Christmas over at my in-laws and we had a great time.  We opened our presents, the kids played with their new toys and with each other, and my brother-in-law cooked the best lamb entree I've ever had for dinner.  He is a fantastic cook.  I don't usually care for lamb because of its distinct flavor, but it was so good that I ended up having three servings!  No wonder my pants are getting tight.  

After all the fun and hustle-bustle of Christmas, I like to slow down and reflect the year.  I cleanse our house from top to bottom, and bring everything to a clean slate for the new year to come.  I'm one of those people who needs clean and uncluttered environment in order to think clearly.  I think it goes back to my Japanese roots though, for my family always cleaned the entire house on December 31 to prepare for the new year.  Yes, we clean our house instead of going to a party on new year's eve.  It may not be as fun but it really helps me clear my mind and start a mindful new year.  Our house has been neglected for the past two weeks, so much needed deep cleaning is in order for tomorrow. 

2013 was a great year.  It sure was full of challenges, but it was the year of connecting with new friends and re-connecting with the old and dear.  It was the year I recognized my fear, overcame it, and decided to move forward with my dreams.  Attending the Barn get together was a total game changer for me.  

Right before the Barn event started.  Do you see how excited I was?

It was inspiring to be with like minded people, who were willing to open up and support each others dreams.  Emily Freeman and her family were the most amazing people I've ever met, and I am waiting for them to adopt me into their family some day.  Seriously. 

From that day on, I haven't looked back.  I now only focus on my dreams and who I want to be, instead of what I can do and cannot do.  My fear doesn't have much power over me anymore.  It's still a daily struggle, but I am winning the battle so far.  It is just liberating. 

At the Barn event, Gary Morland (Emily's Dad) suggested I read Steven Pressfield's The War of Art.  He said it would help me conquer my fear.  My in-laws gave me the book for Christmas and I'm savoring every page of it.  

Most of us have two lives.

The life we live, and the unlived life within us.

Between the two stands Resistance.

Resistance has no strength of its own. 

Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us.  

We feed it with power by our fear of it.

Master that fear and we conquer Resistance.  

Excerpts from The War of Art, by Steven Pressfield

I was feeling particularly inspired earlier today, after reading Layla's "Word Of The Year" post.  I like the way she sums up her new year's inspiration in one word.  It's simple and makes more sense than coming up with a page long list of resolutions I can't even follow through.  

So what would be the word for me in the year of 2014?  After a few minutes of fidgeting, tapping the desk, and a few gulps of cold coffee, here's what I came up with.

CREATE.

2014 is going to be a year to be creative.  Instead of thinking what I want to create, I will sit down and actually work on it.  I want to make things happen this year.  I will make my creative side blossom.  

I will create a beautiful home for my family.  

My in-laws also gave me the Porter Cable Upholstery Staple Gun and the Spruce Upholstery Book by Amanda Brown for Christmas.  I totally got the gift ideas from Miss Mustard Seed Marian's this post.  I can't wait to get my hands on that stapler!  

I am blessed to have such wonderful in-laws who understand my creative passions.  Thank you, Mom and Dad Jones!

My creative supplies for the new year

So you can see there will be some upholstery projects coming in the new year, and I'll share all about it when that happens.  I haven't sewed in the last 25 years, so it will be interesting how it goes.  

I will create stories for children.

I don't talk much about this here, but I will continue writing stories for children.  I just haven't figured out how I can integrate that side of me on this blog.  Sharing my personal stories on the blog really helps me understand life in general, and I'm using that as the core of the story I write for young readers.

And last but not least,

I will create a blog that nourishes the soul, not just mine but yours too.  

I want this blog to be the place for inspiration, the place where we can be honest and take risks and uncover who we deeply are.  I share some of my personal stories in hopes that someone out there might be in the same shoes and need to know they are not alone.  I want to share my dreams and hopes and successes and failures with you.  I want this blog to be a gift to you as well as a gift to myself.  I know I'm aiming high here, but I need to be honest with what I want.  I want this blog to be more of a community rather than my own personal journal.  

I want to thank all of you for visiting my humble blog.  Your comments encourage me to keep going.  I am so happy to be finally part of this blog community.  


Would you take a moment and share your New Year's resolutions in the comment section?   I'd love to hear about them.