October 11, 2014

One in a Million

I've had this pain on the left side of my chest for quite some time. The pain used to come and go, but it has become persistent over the past few days, spreading all over my left shoulder and arm. 

I found myself sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office yesterday morning, feeling small and nervous, while waiting for my name to be called. 

I wasn't scared, but it would be a lie if I say I wasn't worried. What if I had something serious? What if something happens to me and I would leave my boys motherless. These thoughts kept circling in my head. 

Then a phrase floated into my mind out of nowhere, "It's not my time yet."


My gynecologist didn't find any lumps in my chest. But the phrase continued to echo in my mind, louder than before: "it's not my time yet." 

If it's not my time yet, what's left for me to do? What are the things that still need to be done while I'm here on earth? I started to have this quiet conversation with myself on the way back home from the doctor's office.

I discussed with my husband, too, about the things I wanted to pursue and who I wanted to become. During the conversation, Steve blurted out, "but that's one in a million. It's impossible to make a living like that." That stirred something up inside of me and I cried.  

I want to be that one in a million. 


I want to be a children's book author. I want to create stories that makes a difference in the lives of others. I want to run a creative business and financially support my family.

I want to be that one in a million. 

I want to move towards my dreams even when they appear to be out of reach. I want to believe in myself and believe in the gifts God has planted inside of me.

I want to be that on in a million. 

I want to live each day with purpose. I want to wake up in the morning excited to face the day's adventure instead of dragging the tired body out of bed so that I can cross off the never ending to-do list. I want to be the person I deeply am and live up to my fullest potential.  

When I decided to come to America to study psychology, some people tried to convince me not to do it. Some said I was being unrealistic, and one professor even refused to write a letter of recommendation for me. He didn't believe in me. He didn't think I could do it.

But if I gave into the fear and voices of others around me, I wouldn't have attained my degrees in psychology and human development. I wouldn't have had a chance to work in the field of early childhood research and found out that the path was not meant for me. I wouldn't have become as invested into empowering children and helping them unlock their potential as I am today.

Just because it's not easy to pursue and there's no set path laid in front of me, it doesn't mean that it's impossible. So I politely decline all the "be realistic" advice that comes my way. Then I turn to my dream and start taking baby steps toward my goals.

I know I can reach the stars, even from this humble and small beginning of where I am today. I'm not sure if writing children's books will be part of my career, as I know life can take a different path from your original plans. But I can't keep running from it and letting the fear hold me back anymore. I need to give it a try and see where it takes me.

Sometimes it takes a pain in the chest to make you realize what really matters. Those unexpected, not-so-lovely things can be blessings in disguise.

I believe I can be that one in a million, who lives life to its fullest.
I believe you can be that one in a million, too. 

What are your dreams?


16 comments:

  1. From where I sit, you ARE one in a million, dear Yuko. Please care for yourself well, even as you dream big dreams. If the sacred Dream Giver has placed them in your heart, nothing and no one can stop them from coming to be.

    Rest, rest, dear friend ...

    Hugs.

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    1. Thank you, Linda, for your sweet words :) Yes, rest is important. I've been sleeping more & better at night and it's been wonderful.

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  2. I believe one life is enough if you live it to the fullest! Mae West said something similar. Go for it, Yuko!! Im lucky to do what I love. Take care!!

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    1. Thank you for your encouragement, dear Loi. I admire you, what you do for your business, and your ability to create beauty. I will have to find out what Mae West said :)

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  3. !!! I was right! :) I think this will be a great journey for you. You have an ability to tell a clear story. Your art is whimsical but relatable. Just what a children's book needs. Are you planning to self publish and self print? Or are you hoping to work with a publisher who will help with distribution? The great thing about publishing now is that one has the ability to produce a high quality book on her/his own. I would imagine for about $1000 you could produce enough copies to sell and get started. Not to say $1000 isn't a lot of money, but in terms of the overhead other businesses face when they start--it's reasonable. Like Loi, I get to do what I love. There is a peace that comes with knowing of all careers (at one very misguided point, I wanted to be a republican senator ((but that is a whole other story)) ) I am in the one I genuinely want and fit into. I would imagine with this that the hardest part is getting started. Good luck!

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    1. Yes, you were right, Stephen :) It feels great to finally be where I'm meant to be. I would love to hear more about your story, your journey of becoming who you are today (including the part, you wanted to be a senator ;-)) I will probably try to pursue different ways of publishing and see what works the best for me. I'm excited to embark on this journey! Thank you for your encouragement! xx

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  4. Good luck to you Yuko in following your dreams. A few years backi quit my office job and started my own business with my husband and have not looked back. Following your passion is very fulfilling. I can't wait to see the stories you'll tell

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    1. Thank you so much! That's wonderful you and your husband work together (= one of my many dreams). This is so encouraging - thank you! xx

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  5. Hope you are feeling better Yuko, nothing like a health scare to wake us up! Keep dreaming, no one should stomp on our dreams.

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    1. Yes, I started to feel better now :) Thank you for your kindness, Gam. xx

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  6. Hello Yuko,

    I enjoyed reading your post and found that it resonated with me on a few levels. I recognized those familiar stirrings, and creative whispers and was reminded how persistently they had urged me to take flight despite any fears that were lurking. I started my blog so I could find my voice again, so I could pull out those forgotten dreams that had been pushed too far back in the drawer and dust off them the self-doubt so I could see their potential again. (Among which, by the way also included a children's book that I had started when my first son was born. I have two boys as well, although mine are much older.) Unfortunately, soon after starting my blogging adventure, health issues arose that needed my full focus and my blog, along with many of my projects, were abandoned. Now, after 4 years I am ready to soar again, which is why I enrolled in Blog Boss, looking for inspiration and direction. I have visited every single student's blog and made note of all the things I liked about them; there is an abundance of white, clean space, great photography and wonderful use of typography that attracts my eye, but yours was the first one I wanted to drop in to say 'hello'.

    You have already achieved many wonderful things, you followed the stirrings in your soul, you took a chance and put much effort in your dreams and I am certain this next creative journey will bring you joy.

    I started off my very first blog post with this quote and I hope it will inspire as you take flight:

    "And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~ Anaïs Nin

    Orianne
    www.soulscribbles.com



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    1. Dear Orianne,
      Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I'm so glad we found each other through Holly's class! It's great to meet people with similar interests and goals. I appreciate you shared your story with me. Sounds like we're the soul seeker sisters who follow the same passion :) Looking forward to following along on your journey, Orianne, and thanks for the inspiring quote! xx

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  7. Yuko this so beautiful. I truly believe that the ones who inspire us, the 'greats', the ones who dared to dream also took their own first steps with fear and trembling. I believe that these dreams you have were placed on your heart by God, so however scary or unlikely they may seem, they are what we were created for. You are such a beautiful inspiration to me friend, don't stop dreaming! I'm cheering you on as I run along side, pursuing my own dreams, one step at a time, and for the glory of God ;) ::hugs::

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    1. Thanks Shawna! You're my inspiration, as you know. Having a friend like you makes dreaming a little easier :)

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  8. I'm visiting for the first time and to such a profound post! I hope you're feeling better too. Here's to living life to the fullest and realizing our full potential!

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to visit, Stacey - I'm happy you stopped by! Yes, I'm feeling better now (thank you :)). It's wonderful to live the life you're meant live, even when you just embarked on the journey (like me.) x

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